THE RETURN - PART DEUX
Hey guys. That's Fatlip formerly of The Pharcyde. Say what's up, Fatlip! He'll say cool it. Obviously Michael Jackson's Rock With You was the photo on the first set of picks, and it's an honorary mention for being so awful. Fatlip's winning the honorary award for this round of picks, as I just couldn't quite fit his video into the top 40. However, it's hilarious stuff, and it's directed by Spike Jonze. Watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDz2bIceTc
Yeah, I just realized it. I did eleven for the first round. I should have stopped at 31! FUCK! Ah well. What? I never did a 30 on the last post, shhh...
30) Radiohead - No Surprises (1997)
dir. Grant Gee
Never mind the fact that this song is a depressing lullaby, and that I love it to pieces. This is just a crazy experimental video for the whole family to enjoy! Lights blink. Thom’s face. The lyrics pan across the screen backwards on the mask he’s wearing. He sings to you. Water slowly rises. Then...well, remember that scene in The Abyss when Ed Harris takes in the oxygen liquid? It’s like that. Only he doesn’t breathe. He submerges his head in water for a minute. And for that minute you get to see Yorke’s face, lazy eye and down-syndrome glare all magnified, stare at you. And then the water drains, he breathes in deep, and finishes lipping the song. Does he know how weird he looks? It’s a good thing he’s a genius.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:54 - It drains! And that breath he takes makes ME feel relieved. Note that while you’re watching this, you tend to hold your breath too.
BONUS TIDBIT - I couldn't possibly hold my breath for a minute under water. Hell, I get winded walking up a flight of stairs.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho8peKM48LE
29) Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Into My Arms (1997)
dir. Johnathon Glazer
A brilliant assembly of...well, people crying. In beautifully lit black and white. It’s a pretty song, a sad song, a depressing song, an uplifting song...all at the same time. And it’s all reflected by a montage of Nick himself singing, and people of all ages, shapes and sizes weeping uncontrollably. It thus becomes one hell of a moving experience. Simply nothing else like it. Just like when someone cries while you’re talking to them, and then you choke up. Or vomiting! When someone else does that, it’s just a chain reaction. Cave and Glazer should tackle vomiting next. I could coin a hundred different vomit-pun song titles here...but I resist.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 4:01 - Nick’s hand touches a woman’s face, and the moment is incredibly filled with emotion. It’s like he’s blessing her. Or scaring her.
BONUS TIDBIT - How do you cry on demand? I can’t figure it out. And no, I couldn't find a single fucking picture from this video. Enjoy this stock photo.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_birOXAJ6Y
28) Audioslave - Cochise (2002)
dir. Mark Romanek
To make up for a lack of Nick Cave video shots, enjoy four Audioslave shots, just because this video is so fucking gorgeous, even in still frames. As I’m not a huge fan of Audioslave, I don’t think I’ve seen any other videos from them besides this one. Frankly, I don’t have to. Any bit of intensity this band once had was best captured here. They might as well call it quits. I don’t know if Romanek just decided that the video sounds like fireworks or if it’s just something he always wanted to do. But nothing like this has ever been done, especially not to this degree. It’s shot and cut together in incredible fashion. The band is lit only by an air display of fireworks at extraordinary magnitude. Who would think of that? It’s as good as any 4th of July party you can find. B.Y.O.B.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:05 - Cornell swings the mic stand around, as everything sparkles behind him. It’s just one of many awesome moments captured here.
BONUS TIDBIT - Did you know that Audioslave was bound to only have one interesting album? It's the law of the "supergroup."
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL6ymDmSF8o
27) Pharcyde - Drop (1996) and Coldplay - The Scientist (2002)
dir. Spike Jonze and Jamie Thraves(respectively)
VS. 
This is probably the only time on the list that I have to double up. It’s a rivalry! Both videos use the exact same gimmick – the whole thing’s in reverse. It’s very effective when people walk backwards, but are singing forwards. Especially when they’re throwing liquids, breaking things, etc. Having seen behind the scenes footage of Pharcyde’s video, I know they learned all of their rhymes backwards phonetically, then the song was played in reverse as they shot. I’m assuming the same was done with Coldplay. After it’s all over, you just put it in reverse, and it should look like you’re speaking correctly. Or at least close to it. Pharcyde is just having fun, and Coldplay tells a sad story. It’s obvious which video came first, and it’s also obvious which song is better, so it’s hard to point fingers at copying here. Both work well in their own way. But I love me some Pharcyde, guys. One of the most underrated hip-hop groups of all time. This just isn’t their shining moment. It IS Colplay’s shining moment. Yet Spike Jonze is a visionary director, and I think the work was more revolutionary when he did it. Also, not as sad. So conflicted! Which video do you prefer though?
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:35 in Pharcyde, 3:30 in Coldplay - I simply love watching the boys spin around, dancing, as their clothes fly back onto their bodies. Yet they’re speaking forwards! It’s crazy! Coldplay’s moment is obviously flying through the windshield in reverse, leading back to a car crash! How very Memento. C’mon, you knew I would love that – it’s violent!
BONUS TIDBIT - Jonze has a highly successful career now with two highly acclaimed films under his belt: Adaptation and Being John Malkovich. He’s about to begin production on Where The Wild Things Are, which should be...insane. And who is Jamie Thraves again? Alright, so I’m biased. Pharcyde wins by a nose.
LINKS - Pharcyde: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxxYFN2iObw
Coldplay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcKQneIxOJI
26) Fiona Apple - Criminal (1997)
dir. Mark Romanek
This was it. THE moment of sexuality coming alive in a music video. For me, at least. I mean this was around the time that I started finally thinking about ladies. I’m sure for other people it was Madonna or Prince or Michael – George or Jackson, take your pick – but for me, it was this. The odd thing is that Fiona is nothing LIKE who she portrays in this video. She’s not the precursor to Britney Spears or the drrty version of Christina Aguilera (she has so many versions). Fiona’s a somber, sullen, angry little girl. But here? She’s just a bad, bad girl. And we like it. She can always seduce me with her voice, and she has ever since middle school, but this was just...oh, wow. So fucking HOT, every moment. I give most credit to Romanek for getting her to do this, but also for capturing it so well. Dark lit rooms, highlighted by odd lighting schemes, and a tinge of night vision, without the green haze. And a younger Paris Hilton perks up. And so do her nipples. Constantly.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:40 - Her head begins to sink into the water, as she holds onto some legs. She smiles. And I climax. That’s how that goes.
BONUS TIDBIT - It was apparently very tough on Fiona to do this kind of thing. It’s just not her. She did it partially because it would sell, but also because it just fit the song so well. Sexuality is a weapon. Listen to the commentary on Romanek’s DVD.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJhoIRR_xZI
25) Robbie Williams - Rock DJ (2000)
dir. Vaughan Arnell
So what is the concept of this thing? On the surface: Women want Robbie to strip, and once he’s naked, they want more...so he tears his skin off! And then his muscles! And his heart! And then everything else! There’s more subtext to this thing too, the way the women are chewing on his body parts. I’m not quite sure what it is. Is this masochistic? Feministic? Is that even a word? My theory...this is Robbie’s early foreshadowing of what he wishes America would do for him. He wishes we cared enough to eat his muscles. But after so many attempts to break through here, it’s clear...we just don’t like you, Robbie. We don’t like your music, we don’t like your voice, we don't like your acting. But we like you here. Because it’s sick, and because you did it.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 3:04 - Nip/Tuck! When I first heard about this video around the time it was airing (late at night), it wasn’t until this second when I realized I was watching something entirely different than I had originally thought. I knew what people were talking about now. Disturbing at first...then funny!
BONUS TIDBIT - Robbie still hasn’t managed to have a successful US career. What do you think of that, Robbie?
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ-MZUozWqE
24) Muse - Hysteria(Version 1)(2004)
dir. Matt Kirkby
I’m a sucker for anything with Justin Theroux. This superhunky-hunk of a man that you might know from awesome things like The Baxter, Mullholland Drive, Six Feet Under, and to a lesser extent, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. So you put him in a video from one of my favorite bands, and you do it with one of the best songs...and you’ve got me just nailed to the wall. There’s simply no way I won’t like it. This version of the video never saw the light of day in the US, and was replaced with a bland "the band plays in a room with a bunch of lights" concept. Not nearly as artsy. The premise feels a bit like a well-toned Howard Hughes situational variant; basically, a man going hysterical over a women it appears he’s been stalking. So he's locked himself in a hotel room. And it’s the video for Hysteria! Get it????? Cause he's hysterical?? Not funny hysterical. Good, raw emotion here that cuts just as deep as the music does, and right at the same moments.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:12 - Right as the breakdown comes in, Theroux starts trashing the place. Just like you want to when you hear that part of the song. Only you don’t because it’s your stuff, and you’re not in a hotel room like he is. If you were, you’d break stuff too. Especially the towel rack. And you'd steal the sewing kit too.
BONUS TIDBIT - Muse has about 15 videos you’ve likely never seen, and many of them are great. YouTube ‘em, or check them all out at this stupendous site that has a complete collection: http://www.microcuts.net/uk/multimedia
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXkjscp7tSw
23) Peter Gabriel - Sledge Hammer (1986)
dir. Stephen R. Johnson
Oh yes I DID just go old school! No, I certainly wasn’t old enough to remember this. I thank VH1 Classic for showing me this puppy. It’s odd stop motion techniques. His mouth never quite matches up to what he’s singing, and eventually he becomes animated with clay. I think at the time this probably would have just blown everyone away. Now it’s just schmaltzy and cheesy and 80s...I blame the electric flute...but it’s too much fun to ignore! Also, strange as fuck. Never gonna be another one like this. EVER.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:23 - There’s so many bits in here that work as zen...he turns into the stars by the end!!! BUT...here’s my moment. My commentary: And he’s become fruit...
...and the fruit is a face, and it’s singing. And it’s matching up better than he was when he was a man. Are we SURE this isn’t from Pee Wee’s Playhouse? I just get that vibe, man! It’s the Penny videos, isn’t it?BONUS TIDBIT - Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen any other videos from Gabriel. I think I finally decided I'm not a big fan outside of like four songs. "In Your Eyes?" Highly overrated. "Salsbury Hill?" Great. "Steam?" Awesome. "Big Time?" Hi there. Everyone agree on this? You and I both know the only reason "In Your Eyes" is even known is because of Say Anything. Does anyone remember that he was in Genesis? Does anyone remember him period? I mean, look at this guy...
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irC6cAT2nJk
22) Mr. Oizo - Flat Beat (2000)
dir. Quentin Dupieux
Alright, PLEASE tell me if you’ve actually seen this before. Cause I think I found another one that nobody remembers. If you haven’t seen it, watch it before you read on. I’d hate to ruin anything. Alright...seen it? Fucking hilarious! Can you imagine? You’ve got a muppet for a boss! He smokes sausages! And he loves this record! This is repetitive techno at its most tolerable because we’re so entertained by this monkey...bear...thing. Headbanging! Calling his friends to play the music for them! Making business calls! Talking with his synth voice! God, I just wanna hug him.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:47 - He offers his secretary a cigar. Which is a sausage. Hey! Do you think he even knows it’s a sausage and not a cigar? That silly little fuck!
BONUS TIDBIT - The puppet's name is Mr.Oizo. Mr.Oizo is actually a DJ as well. Shh, it's a secret identity! I could’ve sworn I’ve seen an extended version of this. I do know I’ve seen another clip of him riding in a car with somebody, bobbing his head. Yet I can’t seem to find it. Ooh! Yes I did! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzBHFvgN75M . MAN! I want one riding shotgun with me.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQXiew-DQH4
21) Missy Elliott - Work It (2002)
dir. Dave Meyers and Missy Elliott
Remember the first time you saw this? It was nuts! She was SKINNY. Missy looked GOOD. And now she can dance even better than she could before! This is the first instance of me including choreography on here, because it’s just a fantastic display. Missy has a cast of younger kids that she always likes to throw in her videos now. The kids can move, too. And the poppers she gets here are just awesome. But what IS this, really? The post-apocalyptic playground? The bees? A parking garage? A tribute to Aaliyah painted on the hood of a Caddy???? The fuck? Does any of this MEAN anything? Missy co-directed. So probably not. The song’s still hot, and so’s the dancing. Who cares.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 3:37 - That’s my little white girl up there! I love that kid. Not in a creepy way. She’s not in this video as much, but she kills it in some of the other ones. I always look out for her.
BONUS TIDBIT - According to one of the people posting on YouTube, if you reverse what she’s saying during the hook, it says "it’s yours if you can get it wet." I have no idea if this is true or not. But if it is, good LAWD.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GO5zO26gWNY
Check back on the weekend for the next ten.
-M
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