DECEMBER GOODIES
This final month of 2006 offers you absolutely nothing...oh, except for EVERYTHING! December is that big month for theatrical releases to get that last minute Oscar talk going, and it’s also the time to buy stocking stuffer boxed sets on DVD. This year appears to be a bit lacking in both departments. What’s notable, you ask?
In the theaters...
December 3rd
-Gave us nothing. Van Wilder 2:The Rise of Taj? NO RYAN REYNOLDS? Fuck you, Lion’s Gate.
December 8th
-DeCaprio does a bad South-American accent and some diamond hunting with Jennifer Connolly and Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond (Zwick, USA). I may get to see this tomorrow, if so expect a review.
-Nancy Meyers returns with another heartwarming tale of love, romance and comedy with The Holiday, giving you another shot to enjoy Jack Black "acting." Somehow, I think this will do a lot better than Tenacious D.
-Mel Gibson may hate Jews, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be lining up to see the gorgeous looking Apocalypto, an adventure detailing the fall of the Mayan empire.
-Paul Feig (Freaks & Geeks) plays with...uhm, directs Unaccompanied Minors, along with the increasingly tiresome Lewis Black and Wilmer Valderama. Holiday family film AND Wilmer?? Cash MAAAAAAANEY!
December 15th
-Luc Besson’s final directing job makes its way to the US in the form of the live-action and animation hybrid Arthur and the Invisibles. I could think of a lot of great ways for him to end an awesome directing career, and this certainly doesn’t look like one of them.
-Eragon shows you how NOT to use CGI, makes you think "wasn’t this Dragonheart?," and lets Malkovich chew up the entire set. Based on some popular kids books or some shit. Even Rachel Weisz, one of my favorites, and Joss Stone’s acting debut isn’t drawing me in, though I’m sure it’s got some fans. Big, sweaty fans.
-Soderberg’s The Good German goes into a limited release. It’s got Clooney. Judging from the looks of the trailer, and the word on Clooney and Tobey Maguire’s performances means this probably shouldn’t be missed when it finally opens up around you next year.
-Dreamgirls opens in limited release. Scroll down a few posts to catch my review.
-The Persuit of Happyness proves you ain’t need to spell your title right, and gives Will Smith another shot at Oscar gold.
December 20th
-Rocky Balboa wants to make you forget about Rocky V. I’ll see it.
-Letters From Iwo Jima is part two of Clint Eastwood’s WWII story that started with Flags of Our Fathers, which got some fairly high marks of praise even if nobody went and saw it. Letters gets a limited release for Oscar contention, mostly for direction and Ken Watanabe's acting. No word on if it’s going wide or not.
December 21st
-Peter O’ Toole’s buzzed performance in Venus gets a limited release.
December 22nd
-Curse of the Golden Flower goes limited! Zhang Yimou makes beautiful pictures with little to no actual content, so I doubt this will be any different. Also, Chow Yun-Fat yet again gets to pretend he has any martial arts training (remember when he used to use guns a lot?), along with Gong Li.
-Bobby DeNiro’s directorial debut The Good Shepherd goes wide, and it’s got a hell of a cast. I advise you to see this ASAP.
-Have a Night at the Museum with Ben Stiller and Robin Williams! Or don’t!
-We Are Marshall = inspirational sports movie of the moment. We are money is more like it.
December 25th
-Need to get away from the family on Christmas day? Well, go see James Wong’s remake of the awesome holiday-horror classic Black Christmas! I have no clue if this will be any good, but you should certainly pick up the DVD re-release of the original, with KEEE-RAZY Margot Kidder, that hits on December 5th.
-Clive Owen looking smarmy and Julianne Moore acting again? Count me in. Children of Men opens in limited fashion. Looks interesting.
December 29th
-Pan’s MOTHERFUCKING Labyrinth opens in limited release. Whenever it’s here, I’m at the first show. Join me.
On DVD...
December 5th
-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Miami Vice, Beerfest (actually makes up for the dreadfully aptly titled Club Dread), Idlewild, and Saturday Night Live: The Complete First Season (!!!!) are all approved as worthy viewing, though I’ve yet to actually see Idlewild. Avoid the remake of Pulse, even if you love Kristen Bell. And don't forget Black Christmas!
December 12th
-The Devil Wears Prada! Talladega Nights! World Trade Center. Material Girls. Fox and the Hound 2? Stacked: The Complete Series??? An extended cut of Bugsy???!?!??! Stick with the first two.
December 19th
-Another pastry fucking movie, another movie with Sean Penn overacting, another inspirational-true story football movie, another Jet Li martial arts period piece, another M.Night Shayamalan flick, another season of the Simpsons (9), that dance movie that made a bunch of money, a remake of a lousy British cult film, Winona Ryder’s animated breasts, another pretty Asian swords and wuxia thing, and why would you break up with a superhero??? See if you can guess any of those. The highlights are a special 2-disc edition of Jackie Chan’s Police Story and Little Miss Sunshine, both well worth seeking.
December 26th
-DO NOT rush for The Black Dahlia or Last Kiss, but DO rush for The Descent and Jackass Number Two, two of my favorites this year.
-M
This final month of 2006 offers you absolutely nothing...oh, except for EVERYTHING! December is that big month for theatrical releases to get that last minute Oscar talk going, and it’s also the time to buy stocking stuffer boxed sets on DVD. This year appears to be a bit lacking in both departments. What’s notable, you ask?
In the theaters...
December 3rd
-Gave us nothing. Van Wilder 2:The Rise of Taj? NO RYAN REYNOLDS? Fuck you, Lion’s Gate.
December 8th
-DeCaprio does a bad South-American accent and some diamond hunting with Jennifer Connolly and Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond (Zwick, USA). I may get to see this tomorrow, if so expect a review.
-Nancy Meyers returns with another heartwarming tale of love, romance and comedy with The Holiday, giving you another shot to enjoy Jack Black "acting." Somehow, I think this will do a lot better than Tenacious D.
-Mel Gibson may hate Jews, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be lining up to see the gorgeous looking Apocalypto, an adventure detailing the fall of the Mayan empire.
-Paul Feig (Freaks & Geeks) plays with...uhm, directs Unaccompanied Minors, along with the increasingly tiresome Lewis Black and Wilmer Valderama. Holiday family film AND Wilmer?? Cash MAAAAAAANEY!
December 15th
-Luc Besson’s final directing job makes its way to the US in the form of the live-action and animation hybrid Arthur and the Invisibles. I could think of a lot of great ways for him to end an awesome directing career, and this certainly doesn’t look like one of them.
-Eragon shows you how NOT to use CGI, makes you think "wasn’t this Dragonheart?," and lets Malkovich chew up the entire set. Based on some popular kids books or some shit. Even Rachel Weisz, one of my favorites, and Joss Stone’s acting debut isn’t drawing me in, though I’m sure it’s got some fans. Big, sweaty fans.
-Soderberg’s The Good German goes into a limited release. It’s got Clooney. Judging from the looks of the trailer, and the word on Clooney and Tobey Maguire’s performances means this probably shouldn’t be missed when it finally opens up around you next year.
-Dreamgirls opens in limited release. Scroll down a few posts to catch my review.
-The Persuit of Happyness proves you ain’t need to spell your title right, and gives Will Smith another shot at Oscar gold.
December 20th
-Rocky Balboa wants to make you forget about Rocky V. I’ll see it.
-Letters From Iwo Jima is part two of Clint Eastwood’s WWII story that started with Flags of Our Fathers, which got some fairly high marks of praise even if nobody went and saw it. Letters gets a limited release for Oscar contention, mostly for direction and Ken Watanabe's acting. No word on if it’s going wide or not.
December 21st
-Peter O’ Toole’s buzzed performance in Venus gets a limited release.
December 22nd
-Curse of the Golden Flower goes limited! Zhang Yimou makes beautiful pictures with little to no actual content, so I doubt this will be any different. Also, Chow Yun-Fat yet again gets to pretend he has any martial arts training (remember when he used to use guns a lot?), along with Gong Li.
-Bobby DeNiro’s directorial debut The Good Shepherd goes wide, and it’s got a hell of a cast. I advise you to see this ASAP.
-Have a Night at the Museum with Ben Stiller and Robin Williams! Or don’t!
-We Are Marshall = inspirational sports movie of the moment. We are money is more like it.
December 25th
-Need to get away from the family on Christmas day? Well, go see James Wong’s remake of the awesome holiday-horror classic Black Christmas! I have no clue if this will be any good, but you should certainly pick up the DVD re-release of the original, with KEEE-RAZY Margot Kidder, that hits on December 5th.
-Clive Owen looking smarmy and Julianne Moore acting again? Count me in. Children of Men opens in limited fashion. Looks interesting.
December 29th
-Pan’s MOTHERFUCKING Labyrinth opens in limited release. Whenever it’s here, I’m at the first show. Join me.
On DVD...
December 5th
-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Miami Vice, Beerfest (actually makes up for the dreadfully aptly titled Club Dread), Idlewild, and Saturday Night Live: The Complete First Season (!!!!) are all approved as worthy viewing, though I’ve yet to actually see Idlewild. Avoid the remake of Pulse, even if you love Kristen Bell. And don't forget Black Christmas!
December 12th
-The Devil Wears Prada! Talladega Nights! World Trade Center. Material Girls. Fox and the Hound 2? Stacked: The Complete Series??? An extended cut of Bugsy???!?!??! Stick with the first two.
December 19th
-Another pastry fucking movie, another movie with Sean Penn overacting, another inspirational-true story football movie, another Jet Li martial arts period piece, another M.Night Shayamalan flick, another season of the Simpsons (9), that dance movie that made a bunch of money, a remake of a lousy British cult film, Winona Ryder’s animated breasts, another pretty Asian swords and wuxia thing, and why would you break up with a superhero??? See if you can guess any of those. The highlights are a special 2-disc edition of Jackie Chan’s Police Story and Little Miss Sunshine, both well worth seeking.
December 26th
-DO NOT rush for The Black Dahlia or Last Kiss, but DO rush for The Descent and Jackass Number Two, two of my favorites this year.
-M
Comments
Just reading through these recent posts, little did I know how much we have in common! It's like we've lived parallel lives! I started my working career in St. Charles at BLOCKBUSTER Video, until I was fired for making too much money ($8.25 an hour to be exact). After that I worked for DIERBERGS! Schnucks/Dierbergs, Blockbuster/Hollywood, I think you are now my sworn enemy!
www.patrickwalsh.blog-city.com