June Mini Reviews
I WANT MY JUNE MINI-REVIEWS
I'll say that I've been curiously entertained with the first two Ocean's films thus far. Both are fun in their own way -- the first being an American popcorn flick, the second an overindulgent tribute to European crime films. The 2nd is a tricky one because it abandons beloved characters with no real care, and never quite pays off. This one is closer to the first as a way of making it up to fans disappointed with the 2nd entry. Y'know, other people like me who don't care for Julia Roberts' one-note characters. Will people see this one? It appears as if some of them did, as it opened with a decent $30 million opening. Those who do choose to take the plunge will be either disappointed that they returned to that popcorn flick formula, or excited that the series is (hopefully) ending on a good note. This is easily the most entertaining of all the 3's this summer -- it's on par if not slightly better than the first -- and this is the only sequel I'll see this year that can possibly match up to expectations on the nose. Nothing more, nothing less. I'll be extatic if they don't make another.
HOSTEL 2
While this IS a perfect sequel (and those who disagree can suck on something severed), it's certainly going to be a tough sell for people who didn't get what they expected with the first. I'd suggest that if you didn't enjoy the original there's simply no way you'll enjoy this one, but I could be wrong. Things are even darker this time, with tinges of fetishy eroticism and female on female torture. The first being a homage to Japanese torture horror like Audition, this one obviously owes more of its influence to the Europeans. Perhaps that explains the Ruggero Deodato cameo (eating someone, naturally). The marketing has been tough because without ruining where the story goes, it's not quite what you expect. Hell, it's even tough for me to decide exactly whose story this is (between a male antagonist and a female protagonist). To say much more would be to ruin all the surprises ahead if you decide to give it a shot, but know that you get to see Heather Matarazzo's tits, which we've all been waiting for ever since Welcome to the Dollhouse showcased such a blossoming beauty. Also know that you will NEVER see what happens in the last 3 minutes of the movie coming, and it goes further than any of these shitty Saw movies could ever hope.
And it will be so.
OCEAN'S 13
I'll say that I've been curiously entertained with the first two Ocean's films thus far. Both are fun in their own way -- the first being an American popcorn flick, the second an overindulgent tribute to European crime films. The 2nd is a tricky one because it abandons beloved characters with no real care, and never quite pays off. This one is closer to the first as a way of making it up to fans disappointed with the 2nd entry. Y'know, other people like me who don't care for Julia Roberts' one-note characters. Will people see this one? It appears as if some of them did, as it opened with a decent $30 million opening. Those who do choose to take the plunge will be either disappointed that they returned to that popcorn flick formula, or excited that the series is (hopefully) ending on a good note. This is easily the most entertaining of all the 3's this summer -- it's on par if not slightly better than the first -- and this is the only sequel I'll see this year that can possibly match up to expectations on the nose. Nothing more, nothing less. I'll be extatic if they don't make another.
HOSTEL 2
While this IS a perfect sequel (and those who disagree can suck on something severed), it's certainly going to be a tough sell for people who didn't get what they expected with the first. I'd suggest that if you didn't enjoy the original there's simply no way you'll enjoy this one, but I could be wrong. Things are even darker this time, with tinges of fetishy eroticism and female on female torture. The first being a homage to Japanese torture horror like Audition, this one obviously owes more of its influence to the Europeans. Perhaps that explains the Ruggero Deodato cameo (eating someone, naturally). The marketing has been tough because without ruining where the story goes, it's not quite what you expect. Hell, it's even tough for me to decide exactly whose story this is (between a male antagonist and a female protagonist). To say much more would be to ruin all the surprises ahead if you decide to give it a shot, but know that you get to see Heather Matarazzo's tits, which we've all been waiting for ever since Welcome to the Dollhouse showcased such a blossoming beauty. Also know that you will NEVER see what happens in the last 3 minutes of the movie coming, and it goes further than any of these shitty Saw movies could ever hope.
HOT FUZZ
If you've seen this, you know how awesome it is. If you haven't seen this yet, you don't have to wait long. July 31st has this puppy coming to your DVD players, and you'll then see one of the most enjoyable, homoerotic, action packed, hilarious films of the year. One of my favorites, and it only gets better with each viewing. I've had three.
28 WEEKS LATER
I was surprised by this one. The trailers offered absolutely nothing for me, and looked more like a sequel to Dawn of the Dead than to the original. The end product certainly doesn't feel much like a sequel to 28 Days Later, but more like a story told in the same world that Boyle set up. It looks different, it feels different. Outside of one completely awful plot point that reoccurs throughout the film and undermines everything that we know about this virus (which ain't fuckin' much), and a few gaping logical gaps, the rest is pretty damn cool. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo has a sense of style leftover from Intacto that translates well into this type of movie, and the acting is fairly good all around. I wasn't raving afterwards, but I was expecting a disaster. I'll probably hate it when I see it again.
ONCE
Meet the best movie of the year. I say that with near asuredy as it's going to take something magnificent to top this. While your grandparents are raving for you to see that wonderful Waitress (which is on my short list of things to see soon), you may want to avoid their advice and see the OTHER indie smash of the summer. Okay, it may not be doing big business yet, and it may not ever, but goddamn...it's one of my favorite movies of all time. Imagine taking neo-realism and European romance and filtering it through Wong-Kar Wai, and the end result is a love story and a musical, yet is neither at the same time. You may have seen things like this, but they've never been done quite as well as they are here, and never quite like this. Beautifully acted, shot, edited, and scored. Glen Hansard's got me playing his music in a heavy rotation, and John Carney has me highly anticipating a follow-up. SEE THIS MOVIE. It's flawless, and it's enough to make even the most cynical, jaded dude feel warm without having to taste the schmaltz.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
I won't say much here. I think the first film is fun but overloved, I think the second is an absolute mess but is drastically more entertaining, and I think this third volume is an excuse for another sequel. Not until the last thirty minutes do the cast and crew really make you stand up and pay attention because everything else is so convoluted, confusing, and fucking boring. Bill Nighy does his best to liven things up as the best heavy in the series, but it's simply not enough when everyone around him seems so bored. When your movie has almost another 140 minutes outside of the exciting ones, you've failed. Thankfully, that thirty minutes is a blast and made it worth seeing. Unfortunately, they've just set up another mediocre sequel. Wait for video unless you really enjoy big spectacle.
GHOST RIDER
I see movies for free on video. Perks of the job. Thus, I'll sit through godawful shit like this simply because I can. It's not on par with the brilliantly daft Wicker Man, but Cage is equally confused and laughably awful in this role of a flaming, satanic bounty hunter-superhero that nobody cared about in the first place. Sombody seems to have told Cage that he should act like Elvis again, and so he makes hand gestures and talks with a 1/4-assed southern accent. His transformation is an orgy of laughter and I guess pain, though it just seems like more hysterical laughter. Alledgedly the film took a year of post production in order to improve the effects. The end result looks as if no time was spent on any of the effects other than the Ghost Rider himself, which doesn't look very good to begin with. Also, they didn't have any money left for actual action sequences, so we get a punch here and there, or a swing of a chain. How exciting! As for the villains, who gives a shit? Do YOU know any Ghost Rider villains? Peter Fonda faxes in his "performance" as the devil, and Wes Bently officially has no career ahead of him after playing the emo son of the devil. Hey! We could put the two of them together again for a DTV American Beauty sequel! Need another ploy to stay away? It makes that director's cut of Daredevil look like The Godfather by comparrison.
EPIC MOVIE
If you even think about renting this anal abortion, I will personally come to your house and shit in your eyes. It's likely plesant by comparison.
NORBIT
If you think about renting THIS one, the shit will be in and around your mouth. I can't aim too well.
THE RICHES: SEASON 1
The first season just wrapped up this week. It's simply wonderful. This made me a Minnie Driver fan for the very first time, and reaffirmed my faith in Eddie Izzard's abilites. You've got to suspend belief a bit to fully enjoy the idea of a family of grifters taking over the lives of a very rich family who've moved into a new community, but you never have to roll your eyes when they take a mad twist because it feels fresh. They leave you hanging and wondering how many seasons this could possibly last for by the finale, but I'm sure gonna be along for the ride. Look out for a re-airing or be sure to save it on Netflix.
THE SOPRANOS: SEASON 6.2
I think the show ended as it should have. A tease, and a big middle finger to the people who wanted a resolution. They were probably upset that nobody died in the past five minutes anyway. Like life, and like the show as a whole, things never get tied up completely. David Chase didn't want to tell a linear story or a paint by numbers mob story. He found life within the characters, and it just keeps going. I'd rather make my own ending than be force fed something I didn't envision. Bravo.
-M
Comments
- Nicci