DARE-AOKE MBV3D

THE RETURN - THE GREATEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL TIME

I have to give credit where it’s due, as this idea wasn’t entirely mine, nor was this the be all-end all of blog revival posts. That’s still to come. However, I feel it’s fitting to make this my revival post. My friend Steph made a top five of her favorite videos on her blog. It was a good idea, and I stole it. But I’m going to go further here and do a top...well, whatever it ends up being. OKAY, make it 40. A top 40 countdown sounds about right. I’m writing them as I think of them, so I’ll just whittle it down. This has been a few weeks in the works, after all, so there’s a large list to pick from. I believe that the music video has absolutely become the go-to medium for current and future VISUAL film directors. Not necessarily the type of people who will make great narrative films, but those who will tell their story through imagery above all else. Can this be disputed? Music videos are a viable piece of pop-art, of short storytelling, etc. The same could be said for commercial directors. In this post-MTV age of flashy images and glossy visuals, there are diamonds hiding in the rough. They will go on to be some of the most visually important and dazzling film makers in the world. IN THE WORLD. I stand by this. Michele Gondry, Spike Jonze, Chris Cunningham, Hype Williams, John Landis, Johnathon Glazer, David Fincher...ugh, Tarsem...the list goes on and on. Plus, music videos are really cool if they’re done accurately with the feel of the music. I think I’ve found nothing but those here. What you won’t see? Madonna. Sorry. Not important to me. There won’t be any bling-bling hip-hop videos here either. No boy bands. Well, maybe one. Whatever. In a perfect world, I would have a DVD with all of these. In this order. And so, the countdown...


40) Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body (2002)
dir. Francis Lawrence

Glitzy glam, hot dancin’, and colorful light patterns in a dark room. What’s NOT to like here? This was THE pop song of 2002, and it’s as much credit to the video for having an incredible tune to craft the visuals for. The thing that makes this work so well is that it’s shot like a hip-hop video (the low angles, , the crane shots, the fish eye lens), minus all of the flashing of jewelry and useless ladies pouring Crystal on their tits. Don’t get me wrong! I love ladies pouring liquid products on their chests. There’s just a time and a place for everything.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:40 - The beat switches and Justin breaks it down as if the beat has just come alive inside of him.
BONUS TIDBIT - Chris Cunningham (whom you’ll see appear on this list numerous times) said in an interview that this was the only song of the year that he would have wanted to make a video for. What would it have included? "Bodies rocking," he said. Point...Cunningham.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB2Ec-hbBRU


39) Crispin Glover - Ben (2003)
dir. Crispin Glover

It should be noted that the film this comes from, a remake of the 70's "chiller" Willard, is awful. However, it was a nice bonus on the DVD to see the lovely video for Crispin Glover’s take on Michael Jackson’s love song...for a rat. It’s all quite a strange affair, and anyone who knows Glover knows whatever he’s involved in will likely be a little left of center, if not so far left that it's all the way back to the right. But you aren’t prepared for the weirdness on display here. There’s simply no way. Not even after seeing the film. Surprisingly, it looks very nice and gothic, and displays a perfect pacing.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:00 - When rats begin erupting from everyone’s clothing. Especially cleavage. Rats LOVE cleavage. (I couldn't find a picture of this. So Crispin stares at you some more!)

BONUS TIDBIT - Did you know Crispin Glover worked for years on writing, producing and directing What Is It?, a horror film starring an entire cast of people with down syndrome? It allegedly has people still as confused as the title would imply, LONG after the film has finished flashing before your eyes. I’m truly sorry I missed the screening that came here.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTKNahASSDI


38) Slipknot - Spit It Out (2000)
dir. Thomas Mignone

REDRUM! TONKPILS! Nothing could be more perfect for Slipknot’s early career than to develop an homage to what likely influenced their deranged ways...The Shining! Singer Corey Taylor plays Jack Nicholson’s character, and the rest of the band play various roles. Unfortunately, no sight of Shelly Duvall. Oddly, their super-metallic sound could play as a soundtrack to the most intense moments in Kubrick’s classic, and it shows here. The downfall? Mixing in live footage with what could have been a perfectly creepy three minutes. Perhaps this is why Mignone hasn’t moved up from video director into features?
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 0:11 - As drummer Joey Jordison’s head bobbles side to side behind a Michael Meyers inspired mask, while riding a tricycle through the hotel, set to unsettling piano music. Creepy.

BONUS TIDBIT - Slipknot never even tried to do creepy stuff again! NEVER! How not metal. LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAl-6KZJ23Q


37) The Horrors - Sheena Is a Parasite (2006)
dir. Chris Cunningham

It’s a band you’ve never heard of. I guarantee it. Gothic garage describes it best. At a brisk 1:40 running time, this is quite a jam packed clip. Also, terrifying. As the usually lovely Samantha Morton shakes spastically to the beat, then goes through a strobe light induced seizure, and then loses her entrails (or spits out a face hugger from Alien, which will later actually engulf her face), you can’t help but wonder what the hell you’re watching, nor why you’re kinda getting into it. Is she channeling Linda Blair? Why is she dancing?? Why is the band wearing suits? Why aren’t they moving much? Shouldn’t they be helping the woman who’s going insane? Such is the wizardry of Chris Cunningham. His nightmare visions will simultaneously haunt and seduce you. Also, it’s the first instance on this list where the video actually makes the song likable.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:05 - The bassist...well, he does something...
And then Samantha looks lost, the poor dear...oh, well, she can just dance it all away like she’s in the 60s!
BONUS TIDBIT - This is the first video Cunningham has directed in SEVEN YEARS. And it’s oh so refreshing.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sKjREoF_K4


36) Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity (1997)
dir. Johnathon Glazer

It’s a bloody simple trick. The floor is a giant panel on wheels that rolls back and forth, yet the room is elevated so it appears as if everything on the ground is magically floating around the room in choreographed fashion. It’s not Glazer’s best, but It still holds up today for me, mostly because it’s just so slick. The bright white room, and that fancy little Jay Kay in his big hat just prancing everywhere. It’s also brilliantly mapped out and done with long fixed shots. Technically, there will never be another video quite like this.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 0:12 - Suddenly he can control the furniture! And your little, feeble mind is blown.

BONUS TIDBIT - Jamiroquai would soon fade into near obscurity in America...until years later in 2005 when Napoleon Dynamite would give new life to their disco funk through dork-choreography. Yet did anybody know it was their song at the time? Judging by the performance of their most recent album, the answer is a resounding no.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIvc4NH4jOE


35) Weezer - Keep Fishin’ (2002)
dir. Marcos Siega

I am NOT a big Weezer fan. I can take or leave most everything they’ve done. Hell, I don’t even like The Blue Album. So why are they on here?? Anybody who knows me knows about my insane adoration for all things Muppet. Granted the felt friends haven’t quite been the same since Henson died, but I’ll always give them a shot. Is there an excuse for Animal to play the drums? I’m game! So here we have another case of a strong video miraculously making a mediocre song tolerable. Decent, even. This is the only instance outside of the video for "Island In The Sun" that shows the members of Weezer actually looking like they have emotions. They’re having FUN! For crissakes, they’re with the Muppets! Rivers is SMILING! And if they’re having fun, you’re bound to be more impressed by it. So I say "Buddy Holly" can take a hike. This is their moment when their childhood dream came true, and you can see it happening. And I live vicariously through them for this specific moment.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 3:01 - Rivers has TEETH!

BONUS TIDBIT - Director Siega has an extensive music video resume (70 of them!), and two claw-your-eyes-out-awful feature films under his belt thus far, Pretty Persuasion and Underclassmen. But he’s also directed great episodes of Veronica Mars. So I don’t know what to think of him. More Muppets would be a step in the right direction, Marcos.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9drquEiyV0M


34) The Vines - Ride (2004)
dir. Michele and Olivier Gondry

This is a piece of WORK, guys and gals. It’s a simple song with a big chorus. So what do the Gondrys do? They pack a gym full of other bands to play the chorus! It’s something you’d love to see behind the scenes footage of if only to hear how chaotic it sounded in there. Everybody is in synch! Watch it over and over. It’s perfect. What a great concept.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:10 - The bridge ends, and a pyramid of drummers form behind the band, building to the final chorus. It’s glorious.
BONUS TIDBIT - The Vines were once touted as the second coming of Nirvana. The Vines pretty much suck.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYfnf6ydcb0


33) The Prodigy - Breathe (1996)
dir. Walter Stern

An inspired bit of haunted house goodness! Is it a haunted house? A haunted apartment? I’m never quite sure. The lighting in this thing is just great, and the singers couldn’t possibly look much cooler gliding along the floor and being spooky. Superb atmosphere. Bonus points go to the editing, which is textbook flashy video work that should be studied by anyone interested in the subject of transitioning.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 2:37 - The alligator snaps his head along with the electro-whip noise, and shortly after that the wall grows hair. Freaky!

BONUS TIDBIT - The Prodigy finally released a long awaited follow-up to "The Fat Of The Land" last year, and I quite like it. Called "Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned." Did anybody know? The song they do with Twista is a banger! In the mouth!
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DCYStLgBsUvE


32) Aerosmith - Pink (1997)
dir. Doug Nichol

Every wonder what would happen if that weird face changing thing from Michael Jackson’s "Black Or White" video was taken to the next level? Like putting Michael’s head on a sumo wrestler? Well, you’ll have to keep waiting. In the meantime, you get to see Aerosmith do it. Sure, the song isn’t very special. It’s that catchy rock-pop that the band practically put a patent on in the mid 90s. The strange thing? The video is just bizarre. It has very little to do with the song, and it’s just a collage of eclectic looking folks. I’m almost certain that nobody saw this thing. This? A prime example of a video that works as well, if not better, without the music.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:52 - Steven Tyler walks on wearing a speedo and a bodybuilder’s figure. Homoerotic.
BONUS TIDBIT - Can you spot all the band members imposed on other bodies? It’s like a Waldo video!
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr848PoaRZk


31) Queens Of The Stone Age - Go With The Flow (2003)
dir. Shynola

Almost a full two years before Robert Rodriguez would show us what he could do with digital backgrounds and coloring, Shynola showed plenty of early potential. In the clip that’s blatently inspired by Frank Miller’s work, everything in this world looks absolutely ripped from the pages of a comic. Showcasing the band riding in a truck down a dirt road in a red, white and black scheme gives them almost a blackface look. Is this Al Jolsen rockin’ out?? And then the end turns all psychedelic and colorful! I’M FREAKIN’ OUT, MAN! Very, very cool.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 1:18 - The boys drive into a woman’s vagina! WOW!
BONUS TIDBIT - Seriously, did Robert Rodriguez work on this? Apparently, Shynola are digital animators. Yet they didn't appear to work on Sin City. What did they work on most recently, you ask? The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkXAQ9a3yhk


30) Missy Elliott - She’s A Bitch (1999)
dir. Hype Williams

Enjoy this stock photo, as I couldn't find a single on of her in the sci-fi strange outfit. Why this song wasn’t a hit is a mystery. Maybe it was the video. Hype Williams rode the futuristic sounds of Timbaland into a cold, dark industrial world full of rhinestones, cowboys, bug eyes, electricity, and a shitload of leather. Missy goes bald, and dances on a giant M in the middle of the ocean. Supercool. This thing probably cost a lot, and I remember not seeing it on MTV nearly as much as I would have liked. Of course, this was the 56k era. Now we have YouTube and can stream anything anytime. And MTV is dead, so that’s a nice thing to have.
THE MOMENT OF ZEN - 0:46 - Missy enters The Matrix, coat all flowin' and shit...
BONUS TIDBIT - Hype Williams attempted ONE feature film to date, in 1998. Belly was reviewed and accepted so terribly that he hasn’t attempted to redeem himself thus far, although there was talk a few years ago about him trying to get a 3-D zombie movie made. He recently got a Video Vanguard award from MTV for lifetime achievement. Well deserved. As long as you don’t watch Belly.
LINK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKK3JfLGGU


Major props to that Google image search for allowing me to be 90% accurate finding pictures for me. Ten down. Check back Wednesday or Thursday for the next ten, and be sure to leave them comments if'n you got something to say.
-M