Let’s not waste time. Firstly, I apologize in advance for the formatting problems. I'm adjusting to the new Google-ized Blogger. Here's a tip...don't try to post .gif animations unless you want a picture for each frame of said animation, and accompanying space for each said frame IN EVERY SPOT YOU HAD A BREAK to bloat your blog like Rosie O' Donnell after Thanksgiving. Yes, that was an easy shot, and no, I don't like that fat cunt enough to not take one.
I’ve watched a lot lately. The stuff I feel like writing a bit about is below.
300 (USA, 2007, dir. Zack Snyder)
Fucking hell, man. I was SO excited about this! I really enjoyed Snyder’s 2004 remake/re-imagining of Dawn of the Dead (though I now credit James Gunn’s clever script more than the film itself), and I loved the idea of adapting Frank Miller’s graphic novel into a film. This formula of Frank Miller novel, green screen filming, and taking the panels from the books as storyboards worked magically in Sin City, why shouldn’t it work here? Many reasons, really. Sin City is interesting, tongue-in-cheek, self-aware, humorous and so far over the top that with the right casting and direction, it really couldn’t fail. This, on the other foot, is stiff, jilted, period-based, and painfully far too serious to actually work. On the good side of things, Snyder and his VFX team do a nice job of translating some of Miller’s panels into some beautiful shots. However, that’s about all I liked. First, taking Miller’s black and white work, with such heavy shadows and stunning, sparse uses of color, turned into a work of art. In 300, in full color, taking the frames and adding motion simply doesn’t work well at all. For such a fluid, action-filled story, this deserved a much more gritty and overexposed look that this glossy piece of would-be art, not to mention some kind of way to change up the look of the surroundings. I would have rather seen a LESS faithful adaptation, and it’s impossible to believe I’m saying that. On the page, this stuff works. On the screen, it doesn’t. What some might see as cool, I saw as a missed opportunity.
The visual side of this is just part of the problem, though. On the page, the stiff and traditionally boring dialogue fits perfectly. But when you have actors attempting to deliver these lines without a smidgen of humility, you end up with a B-movie script, and you make otherwise good actors like Gerard Butler and Dominic West look like fools. West does a better job with his extended and evil monologues, but Butler has to play the lead role with a gusto and swagger the dialogue demands, and he looks as if he’s uncomfortable with it (and he should be – it’s terrible). On a more basic level? The story is paper thin, and never managed to pull me into its world at all. I was constantly aware that I was watching a film, or more appropriately a video game, which is all this added up to -- above-average video game cutscenes. The fight choreography starts off very chaotic and impressive, then turns into a balet of impossibility, and one that I never got the feeling of from reading the novel. The action speeds up and then slows to a halt for no apparent reason, and it continues that way for the whole fucking thing. It makes each fight less and less interesting each time. Could have been worse, though...could’ve been wire-fu. A massive disappointment, no matter how much money this thing rakes in, and this is something that should only please fanboys and dumb action fans who think it’s something highbrow. Alright, this was more of a maxi-review, so I’ll move on.
Reno 911:Miami (USA, 2007, dir. Ben Garant)
A film that’s just begging for a DVD release, but managed to make it to theaters first. Part of the charm of Reno is how talented the entire cast is at improvisation, as very little of the show is ever written or planned out. So, what you get with an 85 minute movie is a lot of Weigel and Dangle, and not a lot of anybody else. That’s not a BAD thing; they’re both arguably worthy of a show on their own. But for a big screen event, I certainly expected more of the others to get to share some of the spotlight. Having said that, it’s quite funny for most of the running time, and at least had me constantly chuckling. In afterthought it gets better, and I'm looking forward to seeing it again. Expect an unrated version on a loaded DVD to make you and I happier in a scant few months.
Black Snake Moan (USA, 2007, dir. Craig Brewer)
More mature than Brewer’s debut Hustle and Flow, but still amateurish in the idea of creating a story that flows (no pun) from one scene to the next with little explanation of how we got there. It’d be best if he’d stop trying to write on his own as well. Too many good directors (and Brewer is obviously a talented director) feel that they can write as well as they can direct. In many cases, it’s just not true. This is one of them. Christina Ricci is quite wonderful as a super-sexual-skank, and I enjoyed Sam Jackson’s blues man character (bad voice and all) more than I can say I’ve enjoyed him since, say, The Long Kiss Goodnight. Unfortunately, the more I dissected the film in afterthought, the more I felt almost exactly the same towards this as I do Hustle and Flow. It just doesn’t all come together like you may think it does. I still enjoyed it for its Memphis soul, and no one can deny that Brewer shows a lot of promise to one day become a stellar director. He will, at the very least, carry the musical torch that Scorsesse has been holding onto for well over two decades.
Zodiac (USA, 2007, David Fincher)
This is easily the longest theatrical film that will see a release this year, and it also, thus far, carries the torch of the best I’ve seen this year. While by no means is it perfect, and it’s easy to see the wrong crowd going to see this (it is, first and foremost, NOT a horror film at all), but for those looking to see All the President’s Men if it were about a serial killer, this is the one for you. 90% of the time, Fincher’s signature style and directorial "flair" take a backseat to people sitting around and talking. Boring? Sure, but for some reason I was really engrossed with the madness this killer (or killers) put people through, and one man’s inexplicable lengths to do what the police could never manage to do – find the killer. Go in knowing the frustration of watching characters who will inevitably NEVER solve the conflict at hand, and look forward to a pure acting film. Mark Ruffalo deserves an award...or a boat...or a sandwich. Somethin' good.
Shut Up and Sing (USA, 2006, dir. Barbara Kopple and Cecilia Peck)
Well, we see how well THAT campaign went...
The Dixie Chicks documentary actually WORKS. It turns these media and pop culture key words (and fantastic musicians/singers) into actual human beings, and gives meaning and depth to a situation that on the surface appeared to be petty and blown out of proportion. If you have any love for the Chicks, or want to have some love for them, look no further. Also, a candid Rick Rubin! Cute!
Babel (FRA/USA/MEX, 2006, dir. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu)
Yes, that’s about the feeling of watching this film encapsulated into one look. Thanks, Brad.
I didn’t care for this. Half of a good film is hiding in here somewhere, and all of a misguided and confused vision manages to come through. Inarritu is fantastic at directing and should lay off on the typing, as he apparently has no sense of scope or logic. This also further proves how awful Brad Pitt is when he’s deadly serious. I prefer him to be light and menacing, which coincidently is two things this film is not. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Movie sucked, though much less than Crash.
Rocky Balboa (USA, 2006, dir. Sylvester Stallone)
Y’know what? Rocky's series obviously took a turn for the worse when the robot butler thing showed up in the 4th one. I don’t really remember the 4th one outside of Dolph Lundgren and Rocky single handedly ending the cold war (much like Rambo would, only without bullets), but I DO remember that fucking robot. What WAS that? When else has a best picture winner spawned a sequel with a robot butler? Respect, Stallone. Marty and Monahan ain't doin' THAT with The Departed Again. But I give no respect for part V, which I remember being brain damaged with. The idea of reviving this beloved American hero character soured me pretty instantly, and I was honestly quite surprised that the reviews weren’t slamming it, but attempting to praise it??!?? Fortunately, there are no robots around this time (though I’d love to see him battle one in a future sequel), but a large black man has his sights set on beating up the old man, and it takes the series back to its roots of a simple, lovable guy. It takes a lot of time to get to that big fight, but some of the melodrama works on the way, and the fight itself is pretty great. They used a lot of real contact to get a much less choreographed feel, and it really makes a difference when you compare it to the other films. Stallone, though in fine shape still, managed to get hurt numerous times during filming. Is that dedication? Is that a man returning to form??? Most importantly, this movie did what I didn’t think it would do, which was to put a smile on my face by the ending; it had me rooting for that dumb I-talian man one more time. And for that, I liked it. The same will likely not be said for Rambo IV, but I certainly won’t judge it as instantly as I had this. Stallone’s got it back for the time being.
20 Centimetros (aka. 20 Centimeters) (FRA/SPA, 2005, dir. Ramon Salazar)
Picture this: middle class, conservatively raised, 25-year-old, straight male decides to watch low budget, Spanish, transexual musical. Hell, that’s a movie right there...just film me watchin'. It’s actually quite an experience. The musical numbers are lavish given how much was spent, and there is nary an attractive person throughout the entire piece, aside from the super-hunk of a love interest. It’s like watching old John Waters pictures, only in another language...with song and dance, and set to Madonna! I didn’t care for this or feel as emotionally invested as I do when I revisit Hedwig & the Angry Inch (an all time favorite), but I respected what was trying to be done nonetheless, and enjoyed a great deal of it. Much like Hedwig, this story deals with a man who wishes to be a woman, though the botched sex change hasn’t occurred yet. And then she meets the man of her dreams, who loves her cock. Quandries!!!! BTW, numerous chick with a dick shots = glorious in my book.
Rashomon (JAP, 1950, dir. Akira Kurosawa)
Managed to trump The Seven Samurai for me. My experience with Kurosawa is limited to but a few films, but this has to be my favorite of the bunch. What Samurai does for scope, Rashomon does for storytelling. It takes the idea of lies, and human nature itself, from a Japanese perspective that is universal and at the same time very foreign. It’s fascinating to see a true auteur actually LEARNING how to use a camera in new ways as you’re watching. The shots of the forest, the shots at the sky through the trees, the emotional close ups, and those visceral fight scenes! It’s urgent and masterful at the exact same time, and it’s unlike anything I’ve seen before. Next up? Ran, Kagemusha, The Hidden Fortress and Throne of Blood sometime soon.
Frankenhooker (USA, 1990, dir. Frank Henenlotter)
A cult classic that is just chock full of awfulness, but how can you fault a film for including something called "super crack" and having a room full of hookers all explode after taking it? Super-terrible, low budget sleeze. The comedy is dumb, which actually makes it genuinely funny. Must see. Proof, you say?
Oh yes. It must be seen.
Ponette (FRA, 1996, dir. Jacques Doillon)
One of the most adorable children you’ve ever seen, and a French one no less, deals with the death of her mother. This film manages to capture what most films with child actors fail to do, which is a stark realism. This is far and away the best child acting I’ve ever seen, and it’s remarkable. How it was done is a mystery, and to know would likely ruin the magic. If this girl KNEW she was acting the whole time (and at 4 or 5, it’s hard to believe), then she’s absolutely brilliant, and should murder Dakota Fanning immediately (there can be only one). At times this is tough to watch only because it feels so real, but it’s a fantastic and probing experience into the mind of the child because the story is told strictly through her perspective.
Death and the Maiden (UK/USA/FRA, 1994, dir. Roman Polanski)
Roman Polanski takes a stage play and turns it into a claustrophobic and surprisingly riveting psychological experience. Who better to do so than the man who made a theoretical trilogy about apartments? Wonderfully acted, and superbly paced, and I urge everyone looking for a top- notch thriller to look no further. By the way, which nationality or ethnicity do you enjoy Ben Kingsley the MOST as, and what would you like him to do for the future? My choices are cockney and black, respectively.
WRAP IT UP
Alright, I’ve watched a whole lot more than this recently, but I’ve been putting off posting this for quite some time, and I can always post more later. I also have a massive list to rival my music video posts that is nearing completion (and by that I mean about 1/3 of the way finished) that I can’t wait to start posting. But I have something better in the immediate future. If I had a blog a few years back, I would have certainly posted about my marathon in preparation for Freddy Vs Jason. Yes, all of them. In two nights. I wasn’t even that excited about the team up, either, it just seemed like the right thing to do. It would have ended in disappointment, as I only managed to make it through all of the Nightmare films before giving up. In my own defense, I’d already seen all of the Friday flicks as a tyke. This idea of the past has inspired me to do something great, and if I knew a lot of other bloggers who read this, I’d urge them to steal my idea and/or participate. Patrick, got some time on your hands?
Starting in the next few days, I plan to start posting on a near daily basis for the next week or so as I prepare for the irrefutably anticipated Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature Grindhouse. How, you ask? By watching a near endless supply of exploitation films!
BLACKSPLOITATION!
SEXPLOITATION!
ALL OTHER SPLOITATIONS!
The 70s and early 80s finest gems, the bad and the brilliant (and often both), shall be viewed and critiqued in comical fashion! It should be a lot of fun, and also painful, so keep reading and tell some friends to give me some hits. And don’t forget to recommend any flicks you think I might forget!
-M
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