July Mini Reciews

I WANT MY EARLY JULY MINI-REVIEWS!

Howdy. Let's do this.

Transformers (US, 2007, dir. Michael Bay)

A classic. Yep.

Take all those expectations you may have for the movie, and forget about them. Except for expecting something loud and dumb. Of course you should expect that. You expect amazing writing for a feature film based on a toy line? Then you're out of luck, Mr.Retard. Do you like ridiculous amounts of action? Do you like giant robots? Do you like fast cars? Do you like mass destruction? Do you like screwball comedy? Do you like hot chicks? This has everything. EVERYTHING. This is finally the big summer film that I've been waiting for -- it's the one that doesn't disappoint. I had a huge grin plastered on my face for nearly the entire thing, and it recalled that feeling I got when I saw Jurassic Park for the first time. I immediately wanted to own that right after seeing it, and this is the same way. Of course, at the time I felt the same way about Independence Day and Stargate, so what did I know? What I know now is that as a film student and a critic, I should probably break down what worked and what didn't. The point is that I just don't care. I was never that big of a Transformers fan to begin with, I could care less what and how they changed shit. I could care less about the dullness of the whole thing. Spielberg may not have directed this, but his whimsical touch is all over it. Bay does what he does best, and Shia and Megan Fox are perfect. I was whisked away by movie magic tonight, and I simply can't wait to do it again. Seriously, this is a new classic for me. I was blown away.

1408 (US, 2007, dir. Mikael Hafstrom)

After sitting through two of Swedish director Hafstrom's other works, I had decided that I was certainly NOT a fan. Anyone else who managed to make it through nearly two hours of Derailed can certainly agree that there was just about nothing worth watching, except for Jennifer Anniston being raped. Imagine my surprise then when I walked out of his latest film plesantly surprised at the director turning out something full of style and substance. "Based on a short story by Stephen King" doesn't exactly yield much in the way of positive results (I'm looking your way, Thinner), but the film is short and to the point. It's absolutely refreshing to see something that's truely haunted, after being pummeled by this Japanese new wave of ghost storytelling. It's a tight, suspenseful flick that never quite goes anywhere, but doesn't really need to. A spooky hotel room and a guy losing his sanity is all you really need. Cusack is great in the film, too, which is something I'm always proud to say when it actually happens. The role feels like it may have been better suited to Bill Murray (seriously), but Hafstrom directs him in all the right places and creates a full character without a lot of exposition. I wouldn't say you need to rush out for this, but I guarantee you that it's probably better than 90% of the other horror movies that'll make it out this year. Might as well support something good for a change.

Live Free or Die Hard (US, 2007, dir. Len Wiseman)

I probably shouldn't have seen this twice in one week, but my parents wanted to go, so I tagged along. I was turned off by the thought alone of a PG-13 Die Hard movie long ago, when Willis was going through a non-action phase and quoted that he would want to make a softer movie if he ever did another. The good news is that years later he changed his mind, and they've made an action stuffed sequel that isn't really a sequel, and yet it doesn't really matter. Willis is kinda McClane and kinda not at all. He was a machine in the other movies, but he was a HUMAN machine. When he was hurting, you KNEW it. This time around, he may be limping away one moment, but he's jogging along the next. Continuity is a bitch!

To be honest, this features some of the worst looping and dialogue editing I've ever seen. Hell, most small budgeted features seem to get the looping right above all else. Such is the way when you've made a watered down movie. The surprise is that the action isn't really watered down much. Casino Royale set the bar for a PG-13 rating pretty high, y'know? Who knew severe ball torture would get past that pesky MPAA before that? Live Free isn't as bloody as the others (which will be remedied on DVD), but it's the salty language that is really missing. McClane just isn't McClane when he's repeatedly calling the bad guys "jerkoff" and "asshole." Seeing it a second time through only highlighted everything I disliked even more, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the hell out of it the first time through.

Ratatouille (US, 2007, dir. Brad Bird)

Pixar is back, though not with quite the bang you'd like them to be. I think this movie is wonderful, but reaction and box office appears to be a bit tepid. What's wrong, fuckers? You get burned by Cars too? Well this should wash that awful motor oil taste from your palate. This has the feel of classic late 80's-early 90's Disney mixed with the terrific acting and animation that Pixar (and fantastic director Brad Bird) gives. No other animated characters will EVER feel as real and alive as when Pixar does it. Except when it's Cars. We know they were trying to sabotage Disney at the time, and this should prove that even further. Unfortunately, they OWN a lot of Disney now, so they have to win back the disillusioned. So, go see it. Trust me, it's fantastic.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (US, 2007, dir. Tim Story)

Did you like the first one? Cause if not, save your money. I thought the first one was fun. I thought this one was fun too, if for no other reason than to launch a much better franchise with the Silver Surfer. What's that? You weren't going to see it either way? You, sir or madam, are smarter than I.

And on video...

Breach (US, 2006, dir. Billy Ray)

Big surprise winner here. I had heard good things about Chris Cooper, but I really didn't expect a good movie to surround his performance. Cooper is phenominal, and it's a shame that he'll likely be long forgotten by the time awards season rolls around. Here's the bigger surprise: would you believe that Ryan Phillipe isn't terrible? I know, take a moment to soak that idea in. Go on, take another one. Yes, the kid is a terrible actor, but he's honestly not bad here. It's a nice change of pace, go with it Phillipe. This is one of those tight, "talky" movies -- one where not much actually happens, but there's always an air that something might at any moment. It's really tense because even though everybody KNOWS Robert Hanssen was caught, I doubt anyone could tell you if the guy that was spying on him survived. Or how he did it. Or when. And you won't know either unless you see Breach. But do exactly that.

Bridge to Terabithia (US, 2007, dir. Gabor Csupo)

Am I one of the only people that never read this as a kid? I really thought I had, but was reminded by the movie that it was either completely forgettable or that I've been drinking for too many years to remember that far back. Having no memory of the source material, I was quite pleased with this surprisingly mature coming of age tale that misguided people into expecting a fantasy film. What they got is more My Girl than Harry Potter. Their fantasy world is mearly an extension of the alienation of youth, and I connected to it on many levels. The acting is quite strong from Josh Hutcherson (who rocked out in Zathura), and I feel awful awaiting the day when that adorable AnnaSophia Robb is old enough to see naked. Is that creepy? Probably, but I said the same thing about Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, Hayden Pantiere, and Anna Chlumsky, so judge me as you will.

Alone With Her (US, 2006, dir. Eric Nicholas)

Colin Hanks stalks a hispanic cutie. What would daddy think??? This is a voyeuristic experiment in filmmaking in that it is only shot with surveillance equipment. It's gutsy, and it's quite interesting. The problem arises when everything needs to feel natural to accentuate the feeling that the film is trying to provide, and none of it does. The camera work is raw while the scenes feel as if they've been rehearsed to death. What should be fresh ends up feeling stale, and it's a shame. Hanks is good and creepy, but it's hard to fall into him when the director keeps pulling you back out.

Street Fight (US, 2005, dir. Marshall Curry)

This is one of the most fascinating documentaries I've seen, and nabbed a Oscar nomination (though has just recently seen release late last year). Detailing a 2002 mayoral race in Newark, NJ between two vastly different candidates, this takes a hard look at filthy, corrupt politics. So, y'know, just politics. As if you needed any more reason to hate politicians, here's one such indictment that will make you completely sick to your stomach, but dirty tricks have never been so compelling.

Hell House (US, 2001, dir. George Ratliff)

And as if you needed any more reason to hate crazy Christians, here's one for THAT case too! A Texas church puts on an annual haunted house full of Christian horrors like abortion, AIDS, and drug abuse. We get to see them go from the planning and casting to the actual execution of their nightmares, and it ranges from ordinary and human to jawdropping and offensive in a matter of an instant. You know it's a shame when the only people making rational sense in the entire piece are a few kids wearing gear from Slipknot and the ilk. Truely strange stuff, but oddly really good because Ratliff keeps things fairly unbiased and chooses simply to show rather than preach. His upcoming fiction film Joshua with Sam Rockwell and Vera Farmiga has been getting some positive buzz in the festival circuits, though the trailer looks like another remake of The Omen.

Shooter (US, 2007, dir. Antoine Fouqa)

Did you think this looked like Mark Wahlberg's Bourne movie too? Well, it's not. In fact, this reminded me of 80's staples like Commando: daft, stupid as shit, violent, and forgettable. Yeah, alright, it was kinda fun. And Commando has a 2-disc special edition on the way! Rejoice!

That's all for now. I'm still working on that big list, by the way. Leave some comments, and put your name afterwards! I love that anonymous keeps commenting, but I don't know who you are.

-M